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Chapter Twenty One: Bones

The Gummi Ship floated through space as Sora steered it for a new world. Goofy and Donald watched anxiously as he dodged meteors and other obstacles without even a trifle of emotion. “Uh, Sora? Something botherin’ you, pal?” Goofy asked.

Sora sighed as he glanced back at the two and steered with his other hand. “Well, let’s see. We’ve just found out that the guy that disintegrated my island is in control of a Heartless the size of a galaxy, that Radiant Garden is now a giant Gummi Ship because it was nearly destroyed, and that some of our best allies are out there somewhere in space. I feel great, how about you?”

Donald shook his head. “Don’t worry, Sora. Cid was right about one thing; Whenever something’s wrong, you always find a way to make it right.”

Sora smiled, “Yeah, maybe you’re right, Donald.” Goofy eagerly pointed at something outside, and Sora turned to see a new world directly ahead.

“All right, guys, let’s go!” He steered the Gummi Ship toward the new world and silently pleaded that he would walk away with more answers than questions this time.

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The sun shone down mercilessly over the desert ground. Three white figures, one tall and two small, stood near a mountain range about three miles away. Each of the figures had large noses, but aside from that, each one was different.

The tall figure had on a maroon vest and a blue-and-yellow bowler hat, and had a nose that stretched away from his face. Of the group, he always seemed to smile along with a cigar in his mouth, much to the others’ annoyance. One of the short ones had on a black shirt with a star, and had a large nose, but not long like the tall one’s. His face always seemed to scowl, and his voice cracked with anger. The shortest one had no star shirt like the other one, but looked exactly like him; except he seemed the most level-headed.

The short one unfolded a map and exclaimed, “Well, looks like we lost th’ townspeople. Boneville is a long way behind us now.”

The tall one called out to the one with a star shirt and said, “Hey, ya hear that Phoney? Th’ coast is clear!”

Phoney merely raised his head and yelled, “Shaddup Smiley!” He slumped back down to the ground and moaned, “Oh, the horrible injustice of it all! I’m still reeling with shock!”

Smiley leaned over to the one holding the map and replied, “Look at ‘im! He gets us run outta Boneville two weeks ago an’ he’s still griping! Oh well, I guess you can say what you want when you’re th’ richest Bone in Boneville.”

“GAAAAAH!”

“Oops, silly me! EX-richest!”

Phoney continued on, without even a pause for breath, “They can’t get away with somethin’ like that! I’m a respected community leader! A shining pillar of moral strength! So a few shady business deals went sour...is that any reason to throw the most beloved Bone in Boneville out on a rail?”

“Beloved? The mayor declared a school holiday just so the kids could come and throw rocks at you!”

“Shut up, Smiley! Hey, Fone Bone!”

Phoney stopped whining and marched over to Fone Bone, who was still observing the map. “Where are we, exactly?”

“I’m not sure. Hmm, that’s strange. That mountain range isn’t on our charts.”

“Gimme that!” Phoney snatched the map out of his hands. “Here’s your problem! We’re off the map! Get a bigger map!”

“I can’t! That’s as big as maps get! We’re in uncharted territory!”

“Then get us back!”

“I can’t! We’re lost!”

“To boldly go where no Bone has gone before!”

“Shut up, Smiley!”

“Look, I’m grateful you helped me escape th’ townspeople, but please, why did ya hafta bring Smiley with us?”

“To torture you.”

“I KNEW THAT!”

Smiley belched as he set down their water canteen. “Hey, cousins, I think we’re outta water!”

“THAT’S THE LAST STRAW!”

“Hey, don’t get mad at him, Phoney! This whole mess isn’t his fault!”

“That’s right! Th’ townspeople aren’t mad at us! They’re mad at you cause you’re a selfish little greedbag!”

“Why I’m gonna-!”

Smiley ignored Phoney’s string of curses and noticed a dusty old scrap of paper lying on the ground. “Hey cousins, look what I found! I think it’s a map!”

Fone Bone looked it over thoroughly. “Sure enough, it’s a map of that mountain range!”

Phoney Bone’s expression went from furious to happy in seconds. “I’m saved! Give it to me!”

“Gimme a dollar first.”

“What?”

“Go on Phoney, give him a dollar.”

“WHAT?!”

“We’re lost in the middle of the desert, Phoney! Go on and give him a dollar!” Phoney grumbled as he forked out a bill and handed it to Smiley, then snatched the map away from him.

“Hey, this map looks like it was drawn by a four year old! This thing is worthless!”

“It’s worth a dollar!”

He yelled and lunged for Smiley but Fone Bone held him. “Lemme go! I’m gonna kill him!”

“Shh, wait! Do you hear that?” A low hum had begun to vibrate through the air.

“Omigosh, it’s th’ townspeople! Hide me!”

“Wait, that doesn’t sound like a mob...”

Smiley called out from the edge of a nearby canyon. “Hey cousins, ya might wanna come see this!”

“Is it th’ townspeople?” Fone Bone and Phoney ran to Smiley.

“Nope, just a spaceship. Pretty neat, huh?”

Phoney and Fone Bone turned just in time to see a multicolored ship come barreling out of the sky and slam into them. Fone Bone watched as Smiley and Phoney were catapulted across the canyon gap, while he clung to the smooth surface of the strange vessel. With a lurch, the ship dipped downwards and spiraled to the bottom of the gorge, with Fone Bone screaming the whole way.

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